so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
