He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is Oprah even human
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
