Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize