What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
