I accidentally burped into my bong.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize