You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did you pee in the oven last night??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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