**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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