Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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