yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
