I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
