he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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