Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize