How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
