How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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