Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
