you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
