I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
