Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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