What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
