So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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