My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
