the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
being pregnant is like rehab
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
