??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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