Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
