return my video game
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
