instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
