She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
