I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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