so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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