yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
