I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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