i just google imaged poop.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize