youre lurking in front of me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
