Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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