Rock
Scissors
Fuck
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
