I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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