Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
