chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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