I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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