Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
