You're my little dorito
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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