dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
