Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
