She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
