dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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