Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
