Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
