I hate all girls vehemently.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You made out with two different species that night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
