I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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