Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
