Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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