put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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