My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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