can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
