This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
