just tell him i said nine months
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
