i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Terrible idea I love it
I just gargled with NyQuil
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
