Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
